Speak Out

According to Britannica, the “bystander effect” is the inhibiting influence of the presence of others on a person’s willingness to help someone in need. In other words, the bystander effect is when an individual is less likely to help when others are around.

Whether you are a first year official or a long-standing veteran, we’ve all been in situations where we wished someone, including you and me, would have stepped up to help the crew fix a clock error, penalty enforcement mistake, or any other issue. What does it take to step up? First let’s look at two quotes to get our minds around getting past the “bystander effect”:

 

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”—Benjamin Franklin

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.” – Plato

 

Be it on the field, at work, or at home, there can be various reasons we choose not to help even though we think, or know, we should.

·        We assume a more veteran official or senior co-worker will say something.

·        Fear that others will think we are out of line to speak up.

·        If wrong, we worry about what others will think.

 

Regardless of the reason, it’s easy in hindsight to see if someone had just stepped up to ask a question or bring forward new information, unnecessary errors on the field, conflicts with family, or headaches with a project could have been prevented. Even more frustrating is when we are back in the locker room, or after it’s too late to make changes, someone decides to tell the group they thought something was wrong? We know there are times to speak up and times to be silent.

 

What is needed to break the bystander effect? Discernment…discernment to know the difference between having something to say and having to say something.

 

And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can approve the things that are superior and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ. (Philippians 1:9-10)

Paul was speaking to the church of Phillipi to continue to grow in love for God thru knowledge and discernment.  Specifically, discernment helps us see beyond the surface; it helps us avoid being deceived and harmful situations. Discernment strengthens our ability to become gatekeepers—knowing what to let in and knowing when to speak out.

Spend an ounce of prevention to bring a pound of cure.

Devotion from Ryan Wingers (ACC Football Official)

Distractions

What is the #1 way to increase focus?  Remove distractions. So what are these distractions that compete for our attention? Well, that depends on the task in which we are trying to direct our focus. If I’m trying to get rest, my bed is not a distraction but watching TV or scrolling through social media are ones. Not all distractions are bad. Spending time with family or spouse, reading a book, job responsibilities, and household chores are not within themselves distractions. However, depending on the context of what needs to be focused on, they might be distractions. For example, if I have a project at work that needs to be completed, taking 30 minutes to finish reading a book is a distraction.

As an official, what distracts us? Off the field, we have job responsibilities, family to take care of, health issues, and travel issues. On the field, irate fans, upset coaches, people on the sideline, weather, the previous play, and other officials can and do distract us resulting in us losing focus.

John “Gucci” Foley, former Blue Angel pilot, challenges us to decrease our distractions by doing two things:

·         Concentrate into a single point of focus: this is where habits are formed (“unconscious competence”)

·         Adopt a “Glad to be Here” mindset: with a mindset of gratitude and gratefulness, focus is multiplied

Click on the following link for the more details by Foley on this topic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXQNPKHarE

When life happens--frustration, anxiety, anger, multiple priorities--we get distracted. In Philippians 4: 8-9, Paul and Timothy addressed the church of Philippi and encouraged them to stay focused.  “8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” When we place focus in the right place, God provides peace, joy, and strength. All the busyness and responsibilities of life want to shake and distract us, but God says to “fix” our eyes on Him to not be shaken—to stay focused!

Feed your focus. Starve your distractions.

https://thecove.org/blog/where-is-your-focus/#:~:text=The%20Lord%20says%20that%20we,praise%2C%20think%20on%20these%20things.

Proper Gear

 

A pastor took a retreat to Alaska, and at the camp where he was staying the weather was cold and rainy every day. The pastor asked the camp director how do people deal with the gloomy, rainy weather day in and day out. The director responded, “Pastor, we don’t have bad weather, we only have bad gear.” The point the director expressed was that we can’t control the weather, but we can control our preparation and response to it.

As an official, do we bring the proper gear each game?

§  Mentally: Review prior game evaluation and make adjustments as needed and necessary both individually and as a crew. Study rules and mechanics to improve each week.

§  Physically: Keep ourselves in good physical shape with rest, recovery and continued exercise as needed. If we feel sick, do we get the appropriate help from doctors and take the medicine we need?

§  Emotionally: Removing negative thoughts, listening to music and podcasts, watching a movie or another form of relaxation, and deep breathing help to calm us the days leading up to a game. During the game, our pre-snap routine, support from other officials, forgetting the last play, and calm-breathing help to keep our emotions in balance.

§  Spiritually:  Study the Bible, listen to a sermon, read a devotion, and spend time in prayer are some of the ways to be spiritually in tune with God and properly prepared.

2 Timothy 4:2 (NIV):  Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

Paul was challenging and teaching Timothy to focus his ministry on communicating God's truth. In this verse, Paul gave Timothy specific instructions:

o   Timothy was to be ready to preach and teach “in season”—when it was convenient. These times are when Timothy (and us) should be most prepared.

o   Timothy was also to be ready when preaching and teaching was not convenient ("out of season"). The out of season times are when Timothy found speaking God’s Word was awkward, difficult to understand, or when people resisted it.

o   Timothy was to also to lead by providing correction when he or others were wrong or not living by God’s instructions and being a positive influence.

o   Timothy was to do his preaching and instruction with patience and love—not thru resistance and anger.

With the right gear, we are able to respond to “weather” with tact, discretion, and wisdom. 

What does 2 Timothy 4:2 mean? | BibleRef.com

Ownership

Used as a verb, the word “ownership” is defined as proactive in solving problems, taking responsibility for outcomes, and learning from mistakes and success. The level of ownership a person partakes can typically be categorized as follows:

·         Category 1: Reports and/or vocalizes a problem but that’s the extent.

·         Category 2: Reports and/or vocalizes a problem and offers potential solutions or ideas.

·         Category 3: Reports and/or vocalizes a problem after taking action to solve the problem to the best of their ability.

·         Category 4: Leads proactively to prevent or limit problems from occurring.

What category of ownership do you exhibit in your everyday life with relationships and work? In officiating, what category of ownership do you take with your assignments and with your crew? In crew meetings, do you actively participate by seeking information and offering solutions? During pregame warm-ups, do you check the boundaries to make sure objects are clear? During the game, do you check the down box each down to make sure it is in the right position and down? After the game, do you offer information on a foul that would have been useful during the game? After reviewing the evaluation, what ownership do you take? Do you reach categories 3 and 4 to proactively realize the problem, take action to resolve, and then implement processes to improve going forward?

Wayne Gretsky, one of the greatest professional hockey players, had this philosophy as it pertains to ownership: “Most players skate to where the puck is. I skate to where it is going to be.” The point is Gretsky didn’t just skate towards the problem. He recognized and identified what was needed (the puck) and anticipated what was needed to be done (where the puck was going).

When life is not going our way, we often seek to place blame on someone or something and usually not ourselves. In the Bible, Job’s wife blamed God for the hardships that fell on them and even tried to convince her husband to curse God (Job 2:9--Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold firm your integrity? Curse God and die!”). Job lost all his property, his children died, and he suffered physically. But Job was faithful and continued to praise God through all the trials. Because of Job’s steadfastness and ownership, God restored Job to an even greater extent than before all his troubles and hardship.

“And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.” (Job 42:10, ESV)

God expects us to take ownership for our actions instead of refusing to take responsibility and blaming others for our problems or mistakes. Extreme ownership is not pawning off blame and troubles on others but identifying potential problems and striving to resolve them before they manifest.

So, what does a person with “category 4” ownership look like: personally accountable, trustworthy, upholds his or her word, reliable, learns from mistakes, proactively looks for resolutions, and sacrifices for the good of others.

“Responsibility equals accountability equals ownership. And a sense of ownership is the most powerful weapon a team or organization can have.” – Pat Summitt, college basketball player and head coach for the University of Tennessee Lady Vols

Are We Glad?

 John “Gucci” Foley, former lead pilot for the Blue Angels, has a tag line he uses at the end of his messages—“Glad to Be Here”.  Foley explains this saying reminds him to give joyful effort and to be generous. Think about that--how often are we joyful in our efforts? In good times, joy is easy. In bad times, having a spirit of joy is tough.

Most people become officials as a way to continue to be part of the game. As I started my journey in officiating, I recall the joy (and nervousness) of being part of the game and being part of a group of officials. However, for various reasons, the joy can fade and often, quickly.  Why? Fans, coaches, studying, learning, and applying the rules appropriately, family issues can result in stress and unhappiness. How do we continue to be “Glad”?

“This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24 ESV)

This Psalm was thought to be written after David defeated the Philistines and was now King of Israel. Before becoming king, David faced many challenges from hiding for his life from King Saul to killing a giant. Now, David could rejoice because of God’s provision—he was King.  Psalm 118 was written for the special occasion of David becoming king. Even through the difficult days and times David faced before becoming King, it was time to reflect and rejoice.

Are we expected to rejoice in everything? In officiating, what if we make a wrong call, have a bad evaluation, or get sick or injured and can’t work?  Where’s the joy in that?  When times are tough, focus from a perspective of what God has provided. Remember the things that make us happy in life and officiating—our family, being part of the game, working with others.  Know what brings joy and focus on that when times are tough. Don’t be too hard on ourselves for not rejoicing when we face challenges. But, when we are able to rejoice and be glad, we can celebrate like David did when he became king.

Brave men and women rejoice in adversity, just as brave soldiers triumph in war.

Glad to Be Here

Listen Fully

Recently, our crew watched video concerning listening by John “Gucci” Foley, speaker and motivator for elite teams.  He explained 4 ways we listen:

1)      Don’t listen

2)      Listen to Respond

3)      Listen to Understand

4)      Listen to Appreciate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWW-Vk5d-74

As Foley pointed out in his video, we want to stay away from the first two—not listening and listening to respond in order to get to the two higher levels—listen to understand and listen to appreciate. Listening to understand is really trying to feel what someone is telling you. Foley further explained that listening to appreciate takes listening to understand and bottles it with appreciating and recognizing fully what someone is telling you.

Specifically, in officiating, ask yourself where do I land with these 4 ways to listen? In crew meetings, are we distracted and not listening or are we fully engaged to understand and appreciate what our crewmates are saying and how they feel? When coaches speak to us, are we thinking of how to respond only? When players give us information about potentially being fouled, do we ignore and not listen or do we understand and appreciate?

To achieve the level of listening to appreciate and understand, we need to emulate James 1:19: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters, you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” 

• Be quick to listen: Listen to understand and appreciate, not just to respond.  
• Be slow to speak: Don’t speak right away; think about your response and do it with respect. 
• Be slow to anger: Control your emotions; in doing so, we have a greater chance to earn the respect of those speaking to us.

In summary, James 1: 19 provides a framework for listening. Hear the heart and perspective of a person speaking without judging or making assumptions. The key ingredient for listening is a spirit of humility. What does listening with humility look like in officiating? When coaches, players, and/or fans are yelling at and refusing to hear our input, we must choose to listen first.

In his FCA devotional, Richard Isaiah-FCA Division Vice President, used the old adage that “God gave us two ears and one mouth; therefore, we should listen twice as much as we talk.” This saying makes the point that we should strive to hear from others before they hear from us. Proverbs 18:2 provides insight of those who desire to speak more than to listen: “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”

Consider this prayer when striving to listen to appreciate:

“Father, as I seek to grow and learn from others, give me a heart that desires to learn, ears to listen, and bridle my tongue to speak as You lead me to speak so that I don’t become angry without cause. Thank You, Father, for always listening to me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Richard Isaiah

https://fcaresources.com/devotional/hope-and-healing-principle-listening

Cruise Ship vs Battleship Mentality

As a passenger on a cruise ship, the mindset is “serve me.” Cruise ships exist to provide pleasure and entertainment. When reviewing a good cruise ship, here are questions to evaluate:

1. Is the service good?                                        4. Are my needs met promptly?
2. Do I like the music and entertainment?          5. Am I comfortable?
3. Am I well fed?                       

If you look again at those questions, notice the focus is on self. Another type of ship--a battleship--is designed to serve the nation it represents, not self . Here are questions for those serving on a battleship to consider:

1. Is the ship on a clear and noble mission?
2. Is the ship able to endure storms?
3. Does the crew have proper training and experience and are equipped to succeed?
4. Does the crew cooperate with the captain, leaders, and crew members?
5. Are the crew members taught to be disciplined and vigilant?
6. Are crew members at their posts (i.e. are responsibilities understood)?
7. Does the ship have adequate first aid and medical help?
8. Is the crew properly able to distinguish lesser threats from greater ones?

Those on a battleship say, “We’re preparing for war,” but those on a cruise ship say, “We’re on vacation.” Team members on a battleship think, “It’s all about the mission and the crew,” while passengers on a cruise ship think, “It’s all about me.” The battleship mentality is, “I am part of the crew,” while the cruise ship mindset is, “I must be served by the crew.”

As an officiating crew, our mindset has to be that of a battleship not a cruise ship. We prepare for battle (i.e. physical requirements of a game, tough penalty enforcements, communication with coaches and players), not focusing on self. We serve the crew, not self. We take care of our responsibilities to serve the crew, not just our own individual needs. Listed below are specific ways we can emulate those going to battle:

·         Be dedicated--prepare individually but with the crew in mind (video review, rules study)

·         Be durable—don’t be easily discouraged (bounce back from a tough evaluation)

·         Be focused—don’t be easily distracted (don’t allow coaches/fans’ opinions influence our next call)

·         Be delightful---think crew vs self in all decisions (clean your locker, straighten the conference room)

The cruise ship mindset is one of ease. The battleship mindset is one of urgency. Just as soldiers are diligent at their post, vigilant as watchmen, loyal to their cause, fight to win, and steadfast at all times, officiating crews should mirror those same traits to be ready for each game.

Psalm 18:39 ESV: For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me. In this verse, King David acknowledges God as the source of his abilities and success and reflects how God's strength helped him win battles against powerful enemies. David credits God with rewarding his obedience by making him a successful military leader. God provides the strength needed for victory.

A cruise ship coddles and pampers. A battleship stands and delivers.

Credits:

https://blog.adw.org/2018/05/church-cruise-ship-battleship/

https://www.idisciple.org/articles/christianity-is-a-battleship-not-a-cruise-ship/

Even Better

Tom Brady is one of those football players people either love or love to hate. One thing that no one can deny, he is one of the greatest to ever play in the NFL. Consider the following stats:

Ø  Most NFL Championships: 7

Ø  Most Super Bowl MVP: 5

Ø  Most Valuable Player awards: 3

Ø  Only player to win the Super Bowl with AFC and NFC teams

Ø  For his career stats, during his last two seasons:

o   Most pass completions

o   Most yards thrown

o   Highest pass completion percentage

o   Year before his retirement, 2^nd most passing TDs

Considering all these achievements, who would have thought a 6th round draft pick (199 overall) would have accomplished all he did in his career? Even without personally knowing Tom Brady, one thing you can gather from his career, he used his talents and abilities to get better over his career, until the very end.

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul was teaching and encouraging the churches that we have purpose, talents, and gifts to use. In 1 Corinthians 12: 31, Paul encourages us to “desire the best” and seek to be better using our talents and abilities. Examples of the gifts are wisdom, knowledge, faith, and spiritual discernment and were to help with the functioning of the church. Paul wanted believers to pursue to be better while achieving even more excellence.

1 Corinthians 12: 31: “But earnestly desire the best gifts. And yet I will show you a more excellent way.” (NKJV).

Similar to what Paul was teaching concerning Spiritual gifts, as Officials each of us brings something different and unique to the crew. Here are a few examples: proper communication with coaches, players, and officials; calmness; rules knowledge; common sense; relationship building; organization; and comic relief.

As we bring our talents and abilities to the crew, we should strive for still a more excellent way. 1 Corinthians 12: 31 challenges us to “desire the best” and seek to be better. In the pursuit to be better, we will achieve even more excellence. Looking back at the career of Tom Brady, he achieved excellence by desiring to be the best all the way to the end of his career. Our challenge is to do the same. Even with the officiating talents and abilities we have, seek ways to improve communication, to strengthen our crew chemistry, to be leaders in our position, and to prepare for each assignment.

Let’s desire a more excellent way.

 “I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” -Abraham Lincoln

 

Easy vs Hard

In general, when faced with the choice between easy or hard, most people pick easy even without knowing what the task is. But in life, easier is not always better. Consider the following things in life we face or do and the difference between easy and hard.

In life,

Criticizing is easy…Contributing is difficult.

Complaining is easy…Finding a solution is difficult.

Judging is easy...Listening is difficult.

Pointing fingers is easy…Leading is difficult.

Being offended is easy…Being unoffendable is difficult.

Bonnie Sala, President & CEO of Guidelines International Ministries, states the Bible illustrates we were made to struggle and to become better through difficulties.

Matthew 7:14: For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life; those who find it are few.

Romans 5: 3-4: Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

Humans are made to do hard things because out of failures and struggles, we grow. In Matthew 7:14, Jesus teaches that the way to abundant life is thru the narrow gate which is hard and very few do the difficult work. Jesus then teaches in Romans 5 that we can stand tall in our difficulties because of what is produced—perseverance, character, and hope.

Officiating is hard. Because of how difficult it is, very few people try to officiate. Then, to do it well there are struggles, sufferings, and frustrations such as learning rules and mechanics, making the wrong calls, and not getting the assignments we think we deserve. But, when officials persevere, it is rewarding emotionally, mentally, and physically to know we are part of a game so many people enjoy. Now, let’s look at easy verses hard in officiating.

In officiating,

Criticizing other officials is easy…Being critical of yourself is difficult.

Disagreeing with assignments is easy…Officiating any game assigned is difficult.

Dismissing evaluation is easy…Learning from evaluation is difficult.

Accusing others for your mistake is easy…Owning your actions is difficult.

Worrying what supervisors and coaches think is easy…working the next play is difficult.

Do difficult work!

“Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great tests. Great triumphs can only come out of great trials.”
― Alex Harris, Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations

Thermostat or Thermometer

Thermostats set temperature, whereas thermometers measure temperature. Even though both thermostats and thermometers deal in monitoring temperature, they are used in very different ways.

During the COVID pandemic, one of the common tests to measure body temperature involved using a thermometer. If your body temperature was elevated above the normal 98.8 degrees, you were “running a fever” --one of the signs of a potential virus.  The thermometer provides vital information concerning one’s health by measuring the temperature.

A thermostat, on the other hand, helps regulate the temperature. When the weather changes, we use the thermostat connected to our central air and heat unit to regulate the temperature in our home. The thermostat is critical to helping us change the temperature to be comfortable. It helps us to be more proactive in controlling a desired temperature.

In life, there are times we need to be a thermometer and times we need to be a thermostat. As a thermometer, we observe what others are thinking, what they are saying, and how they are reacting. We gauge the temperature of our surroundings. As a thermostat, though, we regulate the temperature. When the temperature is rising around us, we can be the thermometer to have positive influence.

When we feel tension from players and coaches, we need to be able to measure the degree to which the “temperature” is rising. Then, we need to be the thermostat that regulates the temperature and comfortably handles the situation. How do we use our thermostat to influence the temperature around us? (1) listen intently to coaches and crewmates, (2) use positive verbal and non-verbal language when communicating, (3) be understanding in difficult situations, and (4) display good character by doing the right thing at the right time.

Paul encouraged “son in faith” Timothy with these words in I Timothy 4:12, Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.  Paul challenged Timothy to be a thermostat by being the example.  Paul wanted Timothy to influence and impact the world and not let the world set the temperature in his life.  The world around us often sets the temperature and we simply fit in, fly under the radar, and go with the ups and downs of life. We merely live by the temperature set for us by others in our culture.  The challenge is for us to set the temperature.  How do we do that? Romans 12: 2, Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.