Dust or Diamond

Pressure is a part of life.  Hopefully, it’s something that drives us each day to achieve more and to do greater things and to be better. Pressure comes at us from different angles. Where do we feel pressure from in officiating? Answer: ourselves, family, crewmates, supervisor, coaches, players, fans, media, friends.

Think about how to deal with pressure and to be better from it…..”it’s not the pressure that I’m presented with, but how I decide to deal with that pressure and channel it.” People cope with pressure on completely different levels and by completely different methods. Michael Jordan probably felt more pressure than most athletes (taking the final shot multiple times with his team counting on him) once said “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games; 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If you put enough pressure on a piece of coal, then what do you ultimately get? The answer is a diamond. There are also those pieces of coal that just crumble and turn into dust, but that’s because they can't handle the pressure imposed on them, but then there are those that fight through it which turn into diamonds. If you look at the way we as people view pressure, it is not much different, we are all just pieces of coal starting out, through time we develop into something. There are those who crack and turn into nothing and then there are those that become diamonds.

James 1:  2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

Take two things from these verses:  (1) know that we will face trials/stress/pressure and (2) finish-don’t give up under pressure so we will be “mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls and coal into diamonds using time and pressure. He’s working on me, too.

The last thing to remember is that life is a game of cards; each one of us is dealt a hand. No one remembers the person who folds, we only remember the person who manages to turn a hand perceived as a losing one into a winning hand. Embrace pressure, take in change and keep our head up because we will either be a piece of broken coal or a diamond.

A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.

CONFIDENCE

 To be a great official, you have to have confidence.  But, the officiating world is often filled with negativity.  Coaches, media, graders, and Supervisors primarily deal with bad or negative situations.  When we review video, our focus is usually on no calls and incorrect calls/judgments.  Although there is nothing wrong with pointing out mistakes, what’s important is our mindset moving forward.  Does the negative hurt our ability to officiate and/or our confidence?

This week, I listened to a podcast of Life Optimization Coach David Nurse.  As I listened to David’s message, I found his experiences in reaching his goals was authentic and his message of “Unshakable Confidence” was spot on for officials.  Let’s look at the 7 steps David lays out to have Unshakable Confidence (David Nurse-NBA Life Optimization Coach-mindset coach)…..

1.       Confidence thru comparison.  Study where you want to be.  Don’t necessarily study a person, but the knowledge, look, habits you want.

2.       Confidence thru strength focus.  Human nature takes us to the negative—our weaknesses.  Focus on something others can’t bring, not always to improve on weaknesses.  What am I great at?

3.       Confidence thru redefining vocabulary.  Focus on the process not the words.  In officiating, we focus on No Calls, Incorrect calls, Incorrect Judgements.  But, if that is where it ends, we have failed.  Take those types of calls (words) to the next level of how do I get better?

4.       Confidence thru own personal highlight reel. Build a mental picture of who I am and the good I bring, not what my last bad call or game was.

5.       Confidence thru pouring into others.  It’s not about me, serve others.  A great example is NBA star Steve Nash.  He led the NBA in high-fives given—averaged 239 per game.

6.       Confidence thru choosing a “Que” word or picture.  When things don’t go the right way and our focus is drifting, find a word/phrase to remind me to focus—for example “Unshakable”, “Right Here, Right Now”.  Or, pick a spot on the field or in the stadium to remind you to reset.

7.       Confidence thru preparation to be relentlessly consistent.  Prepare when no one is watching.  Confidence thru preparation.

Think about some people in the Bible that did great works for God:  Abraham, Sarah, Moses, David, Esther and Mary.  God used a roaming Arab man to birth a nation (Abraham), a stuttering speaker to confront Egypt’s pharaoh (Moses), a shepherd boy to lead a nation (David), an exiled Jewish girl to rescue her people (Ester) and a timid teenager to bear the Son of God (Mary).  Times were not always easy for these people, but they found their purpose and confidence in God.  When we face difficulties and seem shaken, can we overcome? Yes, because God does great things through me and gives me the tools and confidence.

The 7 steps give us a pathway to great confidence; these Bible verses provide Biblical foundation of confidence:

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13)

“Nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37)

“Nothing is too hard for [the Lord]” (Jeremiah 32:17)

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

 If you want to here more on theses 7 steps, check out the podcast in the following link: 

https://todddurkin.com/nba-life-optimization-coach-david-nurses-7-steps-to-unshakable-confidence/

Communicate

Thoughts on Communication:

(1)  You can change your world by changing your words....Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue.

(2)    Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

(3)  The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

       (4)  Assumptions are the termites of relationships

The most definitive statement about Christian communication... "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear it." (Eph 4:29).

To summarize…Watch our words, have purpose when we speak, and start the conversation if there is any doubt!

Day of Small Things

There are still many who despise doing small things.  The following are “Little Things” that saved the lives of those who survived the attack on the World Trade Center and the destruction of the Twin Towers:

The head of one Company got in late that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring doughnuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of the being stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One’s car wouldn’t start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

One man put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot.  He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.

These are the kind of "LITTLE THINGS" that annoy us so much.  But I am sure that everyone of these people who are alive today because of these "Little Things" will not be nearly as frustrated in the future when things like these happen to them again.

“Between the great things that we cannot do, and the little things that we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.” Sometimes we want to do great big things, and yet, we don’t have the power and ability to do those things, but then we look at the small things that we can do, and we look down on them with contempt and end up doing nothing.

In officiating, when we take care of the small things, we can better handle the bigger situations.  Let us never believe anything we say, do, or think is insignificant.  What action we take, even if it seems unimportant or meaningless, could just be what is needed in a certain situation.   

Are we using the small things that God has given us? Remember what Jesus said in Luke….“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much; and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” (Luke 16: 10.)  Do not despise the day of small things!

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

CONQUER

 An overcomer is one who tackles every day regardless of circumstances.  It’s easy to conquer when things are under control--relationships are great, we have good health, we’re doing well at work, and as officials, all of our calls are correct and have no “no calls”.  As we have seen in the last few months, circumstances change. How we handle the circumstances makes all the difference.

A key word to focus on this week is CONQUER--defined as “Successfully Overcome”.  When you look at the definition pay particular attention to “Successfully”.  As officials, or in any part of our life, we want to not just overcome our circumstances, we want to successfully navigate and conquer.

Romans 8: 35-37:  35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

In these verses, we see that we will face trouble, hardship, persecution, danger.  How do we conquer these everyday stresses?  The manner in which we handle these everyday issues will determine how clearly we think and how wise our decisions are.  Let’s look at a few ways to handle the circumstances we face:

1)      Stay calm—keep our emotions in check

2)      Keep our perspective—use the circumstance to grow and learn

3)      Be confident in my ability to handle the situation(s)—handle the things under our control to help keep our minds clear to make good decisions.

4)      Don’t obsess about the problem—basically, don’t look back too much or too long.  It’s most often good to look back to learn and to see what was done right and what we can do better or different.  But, use our energy to move forward and improve.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. -Booker T. Washington

 

--Credit: https://fcaresources.com/devotional/overcomer