Thoroughly Satisfied

What does it mean to be thorough? It is defined as “carried through to completion, careful about detail, complete in all respects.”

Considering all that college coaches must accomplish these days with winning recruits and building team camaraderie, I often wonder what coaches think about the “Transfer Portal”.  A Student-athlete transferring schools is nothing new.  But kids placing their names in a database to “open-up” their opportunities to other schools is new.  An athlete can have legitimate reasons for wanting to transfer, but other times it is just because they don’t want to complete what they first started.  In today’s world of transfers, cancellations, and postponements, carrying out a responsibility to its completion is rare.

In every game we officiate, we should have a mindset of “thoroughness”—carrying our role to completion and being careful about detail. Officials that have not worked together in a crew should pay particular attention to details no matter the years of experience.  As officials work more games together, some communication, patterns, and tendencies become second nature to the crew.  Our individual responsibilities in crew meeting, uniform, pre and postgame, and obviously during the game, must be complete and detailed.  No cutting corners—the success of the crew depends on the individual detail.

Proverbs 13: 19—"Desire realized is sweet to the soul.”  When we thoroughly complete a game, we experience a feeling of satisfaction that does not even have to be expressed in words!  To further add to this proverb, Proverbs 13: 4 states “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat.”  Where does the desire to be complete and detailed truly come from? The desire comes from our soul.  It does not come from other people although other people can influence us.  True desire comes from within us.

Charles Swindoll stated in his devotion “Thoroughness” that “we need to move out of the thick ranks of the mediocre and join the ranks of excellence.” As an official, are you satisfied with average?  If you are resting in mediocrity, challenge yourself and your crew to be above average—to be thorough—to be complete in ALL respects.

The difference between something good and something great is ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

Charles R. Swindoll

Open or Shut (up)

You have most likely been in a situation where someone is calling you out or accusing you of something you should have done, but you know what the person claims is not the complete story. While they are speaking, you feel yourself becoming defensive and needing to interrupt to share your side. In many cases, if being wise, you realize the words you say in the moment will not make a difference. As officials, we have all been in situations where a coach shouts “you had to see that” or “what were you looking at?” Maybe the coach is right and maybe he is not. But it is human nature to have the desire to respond and defend.

In those situations, we must determine if a response is needed or if words are better left unsaid.  I like to refer to these instances as “in the moment” situations. What is our best path forward “in the moment,” not only to allow a coach to express his point, but also to give the coach insight on the situation? I have used these statements with coaches quite often.

1)    “Coach, you are right. If it happened that way, we missed it.”

2)    “Coach, that’s not where I was looking.” 

3)    “I hear you Coach.”

When is the right time to speak or NOT to speak? In her devotion “Knowing When to Speak and When to Be Silent,” author Meredith Hodge explained there are situations when SIILENCE can be helpful:

·         to avoid sin (Proverbs 10: 19)

·         to gain respect (Proverbs 11: 12)

·         to be seen wise and intelligent (Proverbs 17: 28)

By controlling our tongue…and our natural tendency to defend ourselves…we practice self-control and maintain our composure.

Now, when should we speak? It is typically in the face of fear, lack of self-confidence, or when feeling anxious, that we often lean towards being silent. But often, it is in these moments we need to be bold and speak in humbleness or petition.  

The key to know when to remain silent vs. when to speak is as follows: is the communication from the other person providing/seeking information or is it being said in anger to produce fear? The former tends to make me listen more intently, whereas the latter makes me want to speak quickly and defend.

Proverbs 10: 19: Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.

Proverbs 11: 12: Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue.

Proverbs 17: 28:  Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

Simply put...we need to know when it is time to speak, and then speak those words wisely.

“A smart person knows what to say; a wise person knows whether to say it or not.”

Be the Thankful ONE

Research has proven being thankful improves physical and emotional health--boosts immune system; increases blood supply to heart, heightens alertness, enthusiasm, and energy; improves sleep; and results in less stress and depression. Sign me up for that list!  However, a spirit of thankfulness and gratitude doesn’t come naturally and easily—especially in the world we live in today. Anytime we turn on the news, we are fed negative news. The best in people and the communities we live in are rarely broadcast for the world to see.

Let’s take a look at a story in the Bible about being thankful.  Jesus passed through a village and was spotted by ten lepers who wanted to be healed (Luke 17:11-19). As required by law, they kept their distance from Jesus but begged him, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” Instead of immediately healing the men, Jesus told them to go and show themselves to the priest. As the ten lepers walked off to obey, they were healed. Despite this miraculous healing, only one of the men turned around to thank Jesus.  Jesus recognized this by asking “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?”

Cultivating a spirit of thankfulness is more than a good idea; it’s a direct command from God. In the New Testament, we are instructed to be thankful in all circumstances--1 Thessalonians 5:18--give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  When facing trials and difficulties, this is a strange command.  In the world we live in today, we are encouraged to act on how we feel. But when we focus on being thankful--problems and concerns are kept in the right perspective.

A spirit of thankfulness honors God, strengthens our faith and relationships with other people, and helps us to be more healthy. Today, let’s be the ONE!  Be the one who turns and shows thankfulness as the one leper did. 

Challenge: Express to another person, particularly fellow official(s), something you are thankful for in this challenging season as an official. It doesn’t have to be specific to a person--think of times with your crew, travel graces, games worked, etc.  Express thankfulness!

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”

Prepare to Sink

 “Do not waste time…Instead, train yourself to be godly.” -- 1 Timothy 4:7

Navy SEAL training is known as one of the toughest in all of the world. The training is physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging.  SEALS that make it through the training will tell you as physical and emotional as it is, the intensity of  their preparation is the key to finishing. A key motto for Navy SEALS is “when under pressure, you don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training.” As officials, the concept is the same.  In last week’s devotion, an often stated motto used by officials was mentioned--“start perfect, and get better.”  Each game, we start perfect. The question is, do we sink or how far do we sink during the game when we face difficult calls or questioning from the coaches?  As officials, when our preparation is not as exceptional as it should be, we often see missed opportunities for a well-officiated game. When our preparation is focused and intense, we better  handle the challenges we face.  There’s an old saying that most athletes believe, and probably officials--“flip the switch” meaning we perform once the “lights turn on.”  In reality, individually and as a crew, we function to the degree of our preparation.  We should not wait until game time to “flip the switch.”

Two truths Jesus provided to prepare for life challenges:

1. “You will face many trials and sorrows...” (John 16:33a): Put away false belief of prosperity. No person avoids trouble very long. Officials face peaks and valleys before, during, and after games.  In times when setbacks and issues occur, we sink to the level of our training. Although we hope we can handle any situation that we face on and off the field, the better our preparation, the more likely a positive result--the less we sink.

2.  “...but take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16: 33b):  Jesus states he has overcome the world (mocking by enemies, betrayal by followers) and offers to prepare us for whatever trials we face. These words are to encourage and embolden us. In that same context, the better trained and prepared we are to officiate, the more confident we can be to navigate the difficult game-time situations we face.

Individually and as crews, how we prepare looks different.  However, the one area preparation should be similar for all officials is INTENSITY.  Are we just going through the motions each week in our preparation or are we laser-focused on what we need to do individually and as a crew?

Am I preparing or pretending?

“Lord, train me. Use the everyday, normal circumstances to prepare me for trials. Remind me of Your presence today. Amen.”

Credit:  www.fcaresources.com

BE ON GUARD

Recently, Chick-Fil-A President and COO Tim Tassopoulos spoke to his employee base on the importance of recognizing and expressing the struggles that weigh on our hearts and minds.   Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

This verse is timely for 2020 with a pandemic, political tension, economic struggle, social injustice, and civil unrest.  Tim stated in his message “This is a time, more than ever, when you and I need to guard our hearts.”  Tim shared three risks everyone should look out for when facing trying times. I feel the same application can be made to officiating today.

Risk No. 1: Burnout;  Antidote: Restoration

As officials, the pressures and obstacles we face seem greater than ever before.  The fear is, especially during the season, pressure leads to exhaustion and burnout.  How do we avoid burnout? --prioritize restoration and rest.

• Consider how we spend our time during the week.  We have to continually review, study and prepare during the week.  However, do we also take time and moments away to recharge?  Taking time to unplug keeps our heart and minds healthy.
• Restoration and recharging include more than just physical rest. Consider other ways to recharge—exercising, spending time with family, going out to eat, enjoying a hobby, worshipping.

Risk No. 2: Perfectionism;  Antidote: Humility

Chick-fil-A customers have very high expectations because of the model of quality and service the company exemplifies in every customer transaction.  As officials, we often say we have to “start perfect and get better.”  The pressure we face to get EVERYTHING right is intense.  Coaches, administrators, players and fans expect officials to be right. In addition, we are our own worst critic.  Just this week a fellow official confided to me “I’ve been beating myself up all week about a call.”  We’ve all either said or felt that way.  So, how do we handle the pressure of always getting it right? --seek excellence instead of perfectionism and practice humility.  Tim explained “perfectionism is not looking at ourselves in a healthy way, but practicing humility helps us assess ourselves appropriately. Being humble means having the confidence to acknowledge you don’t have it all figured out.”  The key word in humility’s definition is “acknowledge.”  When we can acknowledge our mistake, learn from it, and apply what we learn going forward, humility is working and helping us achieve EXCELLENCE.

Risk No. 3: Isolation;  Antidote: Connection

Officials can feel isolated.  Because of the scrutiny placed on officials and public reprimands becoming commonplace, it is easy to isolate ourselves when games and/or plays don’t go right.  As an official, how do you avoid feeling like you are on an island by yourself?  --find connection with others. Tim said, “everyone needs connection because our hearts were created for relationships.”  Burnout and perfectionism can separate us from others. None of us can or should handle the expectations of officiating alone. How do we connect and with who?

• Connect with family and friends.  Sometimes we need people outside of officiating to talk with.
• Reach out to other officials you trust.  These officials are ones that don’t always tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear.
• Deepen your relationship with God. 

“Above all else guard your heart, for everything flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

Dust or Diamond

Pressure is a part of life.  Hopefully, it’s something that drives us each day to achieve more and to do greater things and to be better. Pressure comes at us from different angles. Where do we feel pressure from in officiating? Answer: ourselves, family, crewmates, supervisor, coaches, players, fans, media, friends.

Think about how to deal with pressure and to be better from it…..”it’s not the pressure that I’m presented with, but how I decide to deal with that pressure and channel it.” People cope with pressure on completely different levels and by completely different methods. Michael Jordan probably felt more pressure than most athletes (taking the final shot multiple times with his team counting on him) once said “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games; 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If you put enough pressure on a piece of coal, then what do you ultimately get? The answer is a diamond. There are also those pieces of coal that just crumble and turn into dust, but that’s because they can't handle the pressure imposed on them, but then there are those that fight through it which turn into diamonds. If you look at the way we as people view pressure, it is not much different, we are all just pieces of coal starting out, through time we develop into something. There are those who crack and turn into nothing and then there are those that become diamonds.

James 1:  2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

Take two things from these verses:  (1) know that we will face trials/stress/pressure and (2) finish-don’t give up under pressure so we will be “mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls and coal into diamonds using time and pressure. He’s working on me, too.

The last thing to remember is that life is a game of cards; each one of us is dealt a hand. No one remembers the person who folds, we only remember the person who manages to turn a hand perceived as a losing one into a winning hand. Embrace pressure, take in change and keep our head up because we will either be a piece of broken coal or a diamond.

A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.

CONFIDENCE

 To be a great official, you have to have confidence.  But, the officiating world is often filled with negativity.  Coaches, media, graders, and Supervisors primarily deal with bad or negative situations.  When we review video, our focus is usually on no calls and incorrect calls/judgments.  Although there is nothing wrong with pointing out mistakes, what’s important is our mindset moving forward.  Does the negative hurt our ability to officiate and/or our confidence?

This week, I listened to a podcast of Life Optimization Coach David Nurse.  As I listened to David’s message, I found his experiences in reaching his goals was authentic and his message of “Unshakable Confidence” was spot on for officials.  Let’s look at the 7 steps David lays out to have Unshakable Confidence (David Nurse-NBA Life Optimization Coach-mindset coach)…..

1.       Confidence thru comparison.  Study where you want to be.  Don’t necessarily study a person, but the knowledge, look, habits you want.

2.       Confidence thru strength focus.  Human nature takes us to the negative—our weaknesses.  Focus on something others can’t bring, not always to improve on weaknesses.  What am I great at?

3.       Confidence thru redefining vocabulary.  Focus on the process not the words.  In officiating, we focus on No Calls, Incorrect calls, Incorrect Judgements.  But, if that is where it ends, we have failed.  Take those types of calls (words) to the next level of how do I get better?

4.       Confidence thru own personal highlight reel. Build a mental picture of who I am and the good I bring, not what my last bad call or game was.

5.       Confidence thru pouring into others.  It’s not about me, serve others.  A great example is NBA star Steve Nash.  He led the NBA in high-fives given—averaged 239 per game.

6.       Confidence thru choosing a “Que” word or picture.  When things don’t go the right way and our focus is drifting, find a word/phrase to remind me to focus—for example “Unshakable”, “Right Here, Right Now”.  Or, pick a spot on the field or in the stadium to remind you to reset.

7.       Confidence thru preparation to be relentlessly consistent.  Prepare when no one is watching.  Confidence thru preparation.

Think about some people in the Bible that did great works for God:  Abraham, Sarah, Moses, David, Esther and Mary.  God used a roaming Arab man to birth a nation (Abraham), a stuttering speaker to confront Egypt’s pharaoh (Moses), a shepherd boy to lead a nation (David), an exiled Jewish girl to rescue her people (Ester) and a timid teenager to bear the Son of God (Mary).  Times were not always easy for these people, but they found their purpose and confidence in God.  When we face difficulties and seem shaken, can we overcome? Yes, because God does great things through me and gives me the tools and confidence.

The 7 steps give us a pathway to great confidence; these Bible verses provide Biblical foundation of confidence:

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13)

“Nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37)

“Nothing is too hard for [the Lord]” (Jeremiah 32:17)

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

 If you want to here more on theses 7 steps, check out the podcast in the following link: 

https://todddurkin.com/nba-life-optimization-coach-david-nurses-7-steps-to-unshakable-confidence/

Communicate

Thoughts on Communication:

(1)  You can change your world by changing your words....Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue.

(2)    Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

(3)  The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

       (4)  Assumptions are the termites of relationships

The most definitive statement about Christian communication... "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear it." (Eph 4:29).

To summarize…Watch our words, have purpose when we speak, and start the conversation if there is any doubt!

Day of Small Things

There are still many who despise doing small things.  The following are “Little Things” that saved the lives of those who survived the attack on the World Trade Center and the destruction of the Twin Towers:

The head of one Company got in late that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring doughnuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of the being stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One’s car wouldn’t start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

One man put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot.  He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.

These are the kind of "LITTLE THINGS" that annoy us so much.  But I am sure that everyone of these people who are alive today because of these "Little Things" will not be nearly as frustrated in the future when things like these happen to them again.

“Between the great things that we cannot do, and the little things that we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.” Sometimes we want to do great big things, and yet, we don’t have the power and ability to do those things, but then we look at the small things that we can do, and we look down on them with contempt and end up doing nothing.

In officiating, when we take care of the small things, we can better handle the bigger situations.  Let us never believe anything we say, do, or think is insignificant.  What action we take, even if it seems unimportant or meaningless, could just be what is needed in a certain situation.   

Are we using the small things that God has given us? Remember what Jesus said in Luke….“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much; and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” (Luke 16: 10.)  Do not despise the day of small things!

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

CONQUER

 An overcomer is one who tackles every day regardless of circumstances.  It’s easy to conquer when things are under control--relationships are great, we have good health, we’re doing well at work, and as officials, all of our calls are correct and have no “no calls”.  As we have seen in the last few months, circumstances change. How we handle the circumstances makes all the difference.

A key word to focus on this week is CONQUER--defined as “Successfully Overcome”.  When you look at the definition pay particular attention to “Successfully”.  As officials, or in any part of our life, we want to not just overcome our circumstances, we want to successfully navigate and conquer.

Romans 8: 35-37:  35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

In these verses, we see that we will face trouble, hardship, persecution, danger.  How do we conquer these everyday stresses?  The manner in which we handle these everyday issues will determine how clearly we think and how wise our decisions are.  Let’s look at a few ways to handle the circumstances we face:

1)      Stay calm—keep our emotions in check

2)      Keep our perspective—use the circumstance to grow and learn

3)      Be confident in my ability to handle the situation(s)—handle the things under our control to help keep our minds clear to make good decisions.

4)      Don’t obsess about the problem—basically, don’t look back too much or too long.  It’s most often good to look back to learn and to see what was done right and what we can do better or different.  But, use our energy to move forward and improve.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. -Booker T. Washington

 

--Credit: https://fcaresources.com/devotional/overcomer

 

 

 

TRUST CHANGE

In the last devotion, the focus was on flexibility and the importance of being flexible throughout the football season.  What causes the need to be flexible:  CHANGE.

Few things in life are guaranteed--CHANGE is one. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit the United States and sent many people home to work and students home to finish school, that was a huge change!  As days and months past and we were at home day after day, having the chance for a change of scenery was a welcome change when we could get it.  No matter how hard we try, no matter the amount of effort or focus, no matter the energy we put into trying to control it or keep it from occurring — change will always happen. At times, we want change; but at other times, we want to limit the amount of change.

If we know change will happen, how to we leverage change to allow us to be successful? Proverbs 3:5,6 : “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

The key is TRUST. Without trust, change results in fear. However, trust keeps our focus on what can happen and how to effectively navigate the change.

What does Change give us…..(1) opportunities in life to grow and develop—to  be who God created us to be and (2) to have dreams.  When we apply trust to the change, the Lord gives stability and strength, “making our paths straight.”

In officiating, change is constant, especially this season--game postponements, travel changes, COVID testing and unlike prior years, most crews are changing week-to-week.  And, we haven’t even got to the game yet!  How do we handle the change?  TRUST.  Trust our leadership, Trust our Referee, Trust our Crewmates, and probably most importantly, TRUST in Ourselves.  We can’t control this world and what happens in it or even a lot of what happens on the football field, but I can control myself and where I place my trust.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” -Albert Einstein

 

Credit: https://athletesinaction.org/playbook/08/change-is-guaranteed

Bend or Break

Steve Shaw, CFO Secretary Rules Editor and National Coordinator of Officials, stated the key to success for officials this year will be “Maximum Flexibility”.  Think about things around us that require flexibility:

·    ** Driving a vehicle: We are constantly changing and adjusting to other drivers and our environment.

·        ** Airplane Pilots:  Think about Captain Sully and landing his plane in the Hudson River and the amount of flexibility that took.

·       ** Families/Marriages:  If we aren’t flexible with our families, life becomes difficult.

·        ** Probably the two greatest changes we’ve seen in our lifetimes happened in March, and still continue today. First the COVID crisis hit our nation.  For EVERYONE to be impacted by a health crisis at the same time is unprecedented.  Then, at almost the same time, racial tensions and injustices reached what I consider a boiling point. 

As officials, our “normal” was taken away as well.  Scrimmages and clinics were cancelled; summer meetings were moved online.  Now that the season is upon us, a “normal” football weekend will not look normal this year.  So, what do we do?  “Maximum Flexibility”—let’s look at what flexibility means:

Flexibility requires us to stop or alter a certain course of action, to allow others to merge in front of you, to see a situation from another's perspective. Flexibility is defined as "capable of being bent, usually without breaking; adaptable, willing to yield; pliable…. Pliant stresses an inherent quality or tendency to bend that does not require force or pressure from the outside" (Dictionary.com). True flexibility isn't forced upon us. Flexibility is a natural quality that comes from within, from our true God-given nature.

Have we ever thought about flexibility coming from within?  Circumstances may call for flexibility, but how we handle the circumstance comes from within.  Our personal nature determines if we are flexible and bend, or if we break.  As humans, and as football officials, we don’t want to hit a breaking point.

Is there ever a time NOT to be flexible?  Certainly!  There are numerous things we should not be flexible on.  Some examples are cheating, murder, and stealing.  Jesus used flexibility in His ministry.  Many religious leaders during Jesus time were frustrated with Him because Jesus didn’t often follow the “rules”.  Jesus healed the sick on the Sabbath; Jesus touched people who were ceremonially unclean; Jesus ate with people He wasn’t suppose to  according to religious leaders.  But, one thing Jesus was NOT flexible on was His mission:  He knew He had to take up the Cross, bear it. and rise above it—conquer the sins of all humanity.

Philippians 4:12-14 (New International Version)

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

These verses instruct that no matter what I face, I can be content and satisfied in all circumstances—and the key is flexibility that comes within me.  But, remember where the ability to adapt and yield comes from—Jesus and His Holy Spirit guiding our daily walk.

Consider things we will have to be flexible with during the football season: Schedules, Travel, Pregame, Arrival to the Stadium, Masks, Electronic Whistles, Communication.  We will no doubt face challenges never dealt with before.  But, let’s not forget what we cannot be flexible on—"Extraordinarily serve all stakeholders of the game of football by consistently achieving and clearly communicating best-in-class officiating.”—Brandon Cruse (Big XII Referee).

Bottom line, we are still expected to perform our officiating responsibilities at the highest level—with no excuses.  And, for atleast this season, the way to do that is MAXIMUM FLEXIBILITY.

“Plan B' might have been 'Plan A' all along.”