Lessons Learned

Why is it important to remember the past?  Remembering the past helps us to repeat the things we have done right and avoid repeating previous mistakes. But since lessons learned involve both positive and negative past situations, it is important to know when doing so is beneficial versus detrimental. This wisdom is critical to our ability to move forward.

In the Bible, Genesis 19 contains the story of God’s destruction of the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah because of their past and on-going sins. The Lord instructed a God-abiding Lot and his family to flee Sodom and not to look back.  As Lot’s family was fleeing the cities being destroyed, Lot’s wife acted against wisdom and “looked back, and she became a pillar of salt” (Genesis 19: 26).  Using this example from the Bible, we learn sometimes we need to move forward without spending the time to look back.  Sure, we need to understand the “why” behind our pursuit of moving forward, but not get distracted by past mistakes.

However, God has instructed us at other times to reference the past to determine better how to handle the future. In Deuteronomy 6: 12, Moses warns the people of Israel not to forget…”be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” Unfortunately, the Israelites had forgotten what God had done for them in the past. They were fighting and arguing with each other about current struggles and had become restless forgetting what God had provided them in the past.  At times, looking back helps us learn from wrong-doings and how to better proceed. 

So—how do we know when to look back or just to keep our eyes forward? Discernment is the key! As officials, we must discern when to move forward without looking back; or, when we need to look back to have a clearer direction on how to move forward.  Again, use discernment.

As officials, we can neither dwell on the positive or the negative. Instead, learn from our past, move forward, and don’t let the past hinder our future.

Whatever “it” is, learn from it.  Then get over it.  Robert J. O’Neill

Attributes—How do they define us?

Previous devotions have encouraged us to leave a good impression and to develop good character.  Good impressions are left by smiling, being on time, and listening.  Our character is developed by controlling our thoughts, guarding our hearts and minds, and keeping good company.  Character was defined as “the whole you—thoughts, intentions, and actions.”  In other words, our attributes define our character. 

Attributes are defined as a quality or feature regarded as a characteristic or inherent part of someone or something.  Just as character can be good or bad, attributes can be good or bad. Why?...because our attributes help define our character.  So, how do we develop positive attributes?  In an article by Todd Wagner, former pastor at Watermark Church, he describes 5 attributes of a Godly man (article link: www.watermark.org):

1.       Step Up:  Lead, initiate, be a person of action.  Reject apathy and passivity. (Ezekiel 22:30--I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one.)

2.       Speak Out:  Be courageous! Silence in the midst of sin is a sin.  There is a time to listen and a time to speak. (Proverbs 27: 5-6:  Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.)

3.       Stand Strong:  Don’t give in when you are challenged, attacked, or criticized.

4.       Stay Humble: Be vigilant against pride.  Don’t think less of yourself, think of yourself less. (Philippians 2: 3-4:  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.)

5.       Serve People and the King:  Live to honor and serve others for a greater reward.

A few years ago, our football officiating crew worked together to identify what we feel are important traits (attributes) of a “Super Ref.” The following attributes are the ones we identified:

Common sense                             Decisive                                              Good crewmate

Athletic                                        Integrity                                               No ego

Great judgment                           Well balanced                                      Team player

Durable                                       Calm                                                   Good leader  

Great communicator                  Presence                                              Rules knowledge

Great physical appearance       Open to criticism/improvement           Do the right thing under pressure

Combining the 5 attributes of a Godly man together with the attributes of a Super Ref, which ones would define you?  Which one(s) do you need to work on to not only make you a better official, but a person with high character? What steps will you take this week to work on them? Who will hold you accountable?

“You create a strong, unshakable internal core by understanding and pursuing the attributes that you want to inherit.”

Character

 This week's devotion was prepared by Rick Loumiet--Replay Official, Big 12.......

As I began clean up in the aftermath of Hurricane Ida, I noticed several large mature trees uprooted and blown over while next to them there were other similar trees that stood tall.  The difference I observed was the strength of the root system which being well rooted, allowed the tree to withstand hurricane force winds.  As I looked at this, I realized what a great analogy about a man’s character.  A man with a strong character, a strong root system, will be able to withstand the sometimes hurricane force winds that come his way.

So what is character ?

Character is defined as strength of moral fiber. It was once said as the excellence of gold is its purity, so the excellence of man is his character. A person’s character is the sum of his disposition (a person’s inherent qualities), thoughts, intentions and actions. In other words, character is the whole “you” and takes every part of the attributes listed above.  For example, can have good intentions but they must be followed by good actions.  

We’ve all heard the old saying “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching”. Many have laid claim to this quote but the most famous was Coach John Wooden.

We need turn no further than the Bible to find many men and women who were people of amazing character.  Here’s just a couple:  

- Daniel was taken into captivity by Babylon after it besieged Jerusalem. Daniel was selected to be placed into the King’s service and received the best of training and food but the food did not meet Daniel’s strict religious dietary requirements.  He could have easily eaten anything he wanted when no one was around but, being a strong man of character, he made what were not popular choices, but the correct choices in his diet.   He stood on a strong root system.

- David was the great warrior king of Israel. While he didn’t always make the right choice ,he always recognized his errors, repented and worked to live a life after God. His inherent qualities and actions were ones always seeking after God and God’s direction. The Bible describes David as a man “after God’s own heart”. What a great description of a man’s character.

So how do we develop character;

1. Controlling our thoughts. Philippians 4:8; Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think on these things.

2. Guard our hearts. Proverbs 4:23; Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Open your heart and mind like a safe keeping only precious and valuable things in there.

Finally, (3.) Keep good company. 1 Cor 15:33; Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals”.

Let me close with a great quote from Margaret Thatcher:

Watch your thoughts for they become words,

Watch your words for they become actions,

Watch your actions for they become habits,

Watch your habits for they become your character,

Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

Impressions--First & Lasting

“I usually make up my mind about a man in ten seconds, and I very rarely change it.”  Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of United Kingdom.

The old expression “you can’t judge a book by its cover” may be true; but if I don’t like the cover, it will likely keep me from finding out what’s in the book. First impressions are significant for most people. It’s not always fair that we judge people that quickly.  But to have someone want to hear us and learn more about us, we need to make a good impression. 

So, as football officials, how do we make good first impressions? Pastor Harrold Herring wrote in his blog (haroldherring.com) “Seven Ways to make a Godly First Impression”:

1)      Have fun and recognize every moment is an opportunity.  Having fun is just enjoying life using opportunities to have a positive impact on people we come in contact.

2)      Smile.  The Bible makes many references to the positive impact of smiling—Numbers 6:25-26, Psalm 31:16, Psalm 119:135, Psalm 43:5.  Psalm 67: 1 says “May God be merciful and bless us.  May his face smile with favor on us.”

3)      Dress for success.  Right or wrong—the way a person is dressed often forms our opinion of someone. Though not everyone has the means to fine threads, they do have the opportunity to dress their best.

4)      Be on time.  When we are on time, even early, the impression is that we care and that we value the time of others.

5)      Listen.  We will impress people by our ability to listen more than our ability to speak.

6)      Be a diligent worker. Diligent means being quick, prompt, skilled, ready.

7)      Be Genuine.  When we meet or talk with people, be sincere. Don’t be fake.  Look people into their eyes and make sure that moment is dedicated to them—not the next person or activity.

As officials, other people have their eyes focused on us and often we don’t even realize who and when.  Therefore, we need to be conscious of how we represent ourselves, our family, our crew, and other fellow officials.  Truth is, we are always making impressions—good, bad, positive, or negative.  The question is what lasting impression will we make?  Those we are given the opportunity to make positive, lasting impressions with include hotel staff, Uber drivers, athletic staffs, police officers/security, coaches, players, TSA, flight attendants, etc.  Go back to item number one listed above: “…recognize every moment is an opportunity.” Use these opportunities to leave a positive impression.

“People forget what you said, forget what you did, but never forget how you made them feel.”

To leave a positive, lasting impression, put on Colossians 3:12: “Therefore, as God’s people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

FINAL EXAM

Students face mid-term/final exams. Accountants take the CPA exam. Lawyers take the Bar exam. Doctors take the U.S. Medical Licensing Exam. These exams are designed to gauge how much the student has learned and retained and can put into practice.

Similarly, officials face final exams each game. Most situations and fouls that occur during a game are second nature to officials due to experience and preparation of the crew. However, we sometimes must dig deep into our memory to properly handle a challenging situation that occurs. We must recall based on our past experiences/games, rules study, video study, quizzes, and various other tools which has prepared us to face the situation and get it right.

Baker College released an article “Seven Final Exam Strategies for Success.”  Let’s explore how each one correlates to officiating.

1.       Create a Study Schedule:  Officials have many responsibilities outside of officiating.  Do not just think studying and reviewing will happen when you have time. Instead, you must be intentional on setting aside time to devote to sharpening your understanding of the game.

2.       Study with a positive attitude and clear direction:  Officiating is filled with negativity and often focuses on what was done wrong.  Even in the negative, turn the situation into a positive learning experience to apply going forward.

3.       Utilize the Resources Available to You: With today’s technology, we have unlimited game video and training videos. Take advantage of them.

4.       Explain what you are studying to another person: Study groups and crew meetings enable officials to hold each other accountable and to discuss plays and rules interpretations. Find a study group or start one and participate in crew meetings!

5.       Avoid Distractions: Our first priorities should be to take care of family and job responsibilities. But sometimes extracurricular activities need to be delayed when preparing and working as officials. It takes sacrifice of self.

6.       Prepare, prepare, and prepare some more:  We should take rest-breaks to renew our mind and body, but our preparation should never stop.  Watching games, studying rule book and mechanics, study groups, reviewing evaluations, and exercising should continuously be a part of preparation. Basically, it is part of an official’s DNA.

7.       Take care of you, too: Stay healthy and safe. Taking care of ourselves is a big part of our preparation.  Know when to rest and relax and know when it is time to prepare physically and mentally.

James 1: 2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

What does it take to finish the exam well?  PERSERVERANCE! Perseverance is defined “to continue in a course of action in the face of difficulty.” The scripture above states we should “consider it pure joy” to face trials.  Not many of us view trials or problems as joy.  But when we face tests as officials, as we work through the process, we are most often better on the other side!  That is the joy of perseverance. That is the joy of being prepared.  The more prepared we are, the better opportunity for success.  Then, as quoted in scripture above, we will be “mature, complete, and lacking nothing.”

 “Start strong, stay strong, and finish strong by remembering why you started in the first place.”

Thoroughly Satisfied

What does it mean to be thorough? It is defined as “carried through to completion, careful about detail, complete in all respects.”

Considering all that college coaches must accomplish these days with winning recruits and building team camaraderie, I often wonder what coaches think about the “Transfer Portal”.  A Student-athlete transferring schools is nothing new.  But kids placing their names in a database to “open-up” their opportunities to other schools is new.  An athlete can have legitimate reasons for wanting to transfer, but other times it is just because they don’t want to complete what they first started.  In today’s world of transfers, cancellations, and postponements, carrying out a responsibility to its completion is rare.

In every game we officiate, we should have a mindset of “thoroughness”—carrying our role to completion and being careful about detail. Officials that have not worked together in a crew should pay particular attention to details no matter the years of experience.  As officials work more games together, some communication, patterns, and tendencies become second nature to the crew.  Our individual responsibilities in crew meeting, uniform, pre and postgame, and obviously during the game, must be complete and detailed.  No cutting corners—the success of the crew depends on the individual detail.

Proverbs 13: 19—"Desire realized is sweet to the soul.”  When we thoroughly complete a game, we experience a feeling of satisfaction that does not even have to be expressed in words!  To further add to this proverb, Proverbs 13: 4 states “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat.”  Where does the desire to be complete and detailed truly come from? The desire comes from our soul.  It does not come from other people although other people can influence us.  True desire comes from within us.

Charles Swindoll stated in his devotion “Thoroughness” that “we need to move out of the thick ranks of the mediocre and join the ranks of excellence.” As an official, are you satisfied with average?  If you are resting in mediocrity, challenge yourself and your crew to be above average—to be thorough—to be complete in ALL respects.

The difference between something good and something great is ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

Charles R. Swindoll

Open or Shut (up)

You have most likely been in a situation where someone is calling you out or accusing you of something you should have done, but you know what the person claims is not the complete story. While they are speaking, you feel yourself becoming defensive and needing to interrupt to share your side. In many cases, if being wise, you realize the words you say in the moment will not make a difference. As officials, we have all been in situations where a coach shouts “you had to see that” or “what were you looking at?” Maybe the coach is right and maybe he is not. But it is human nature to have the desire to respond and defend.

In those situations, we must determine if a response is needed or if words are better left unsaid.  I like to refer to these instances as “in the moment” situations. What is our best path forward “in the moment,” not only to allow a coach to express his point, but also to give the coach insight on the situation? I have used these statements with coaches quite often.

1)    “Coach, you are right. If it happened that way, we missed it.”

2)    “Coach, that’s not where I was looking.” 

3)    “I hear you Coach.”

When is the right time to speak or NOT to speak? In her devotion “Knowing When to Speak and When to Be Silent,” author Meredith Hodge explained there are situations when SIILENCE can be helpful:

·         to avoid sin (Proverbs 10: 19)

·         to gain respect (Proverbs 11: 12)

·         to be seen wise and intelligent (Proverbs 17: 28)

By controlling our tongue…and our natural tendency to defend ourselves…we practice self-control and maintain our composure.

Now, when should we speak? It is typically in the face of fear, lack of self-confidence, or when feeling anxious, that we often lean towards being silent. But often, it is in these moments we need to be bold and speak in humbleness or petition.  

The key to know when to remain silent vs. when to speak is as follows: is the communication from the other person providing/seeking information or is it being said in anger to produce fear? The former tends to make me listen more intently, whereas the latter makes me want to speak quickly and defend.

Proverbs 10: 19: Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.

Proverbs 11: 12: Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue.

Proverbs 17: 28:  Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

Simply put...we need to know when it is time to speak, and then speak those words wisely.

“A smart person knows what to say; a wise person knows whether to say it or not.”

Be the Thankful ONE

Research has proven being thankful improves physical and emotional health--boosts immune system; increases blood supply to heart, heightens alertness, enthusiasm, and energy; improves sleep; and results in less stress and depression. Sign me up for that list!  However, a spirit of thankfulness and gratitude doesn’t come naturally and easily—especially in the world we live in today. Anytime we turn on the news, we are fed negative news. The best in people and the communities we live in are rarely broadcast for the world to see.

Let’s take a look at a story in the Bible about being thankful.  Jesus passed through a village and was spotted by ten lepers who wanted to be healed (Luke 17:11-19). As required by law, they kept their distance from Jesus but begged him, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” Instead of immediately healing the men, Jesus told them to go and show themselves to the priest. As the ten lepers walked off to obey, they were healed. Despite this miraculous healing, only one of the men turned around to thank Jesus.  Jesus recognized this by asking “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?”

Cultivating a spirit of thankfulness is more than a good idea; it’s a direct command from God. In the New Testament, we are instructed to be thankful in all circumstances--1 Thessalonians 5:18--give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  When facing trials and difficulties, this is a strange command.  In the world we live in today, we are encouraged to act on how we feel. But when we focus on being thankful--problems and concerns are kept in the right perspective.

A spirit of thankfulness honors God, strengthens our faith and relationships with other people, and helps us to be more healthy. Today, let’s be the ONE!  Be the one who turns and shows thankfulness as the one leper did. 

Challenge: Express to another person, particularly fellow official(s), something you are thankful for in this challenging season as an official. It doesn’t have to be specific to a person--think of times with your crew, travel graces, games worked, etc.  Express thankfulness!

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”

Prepare to Sink

 “Do not waste time…Instead, train yourself to be godly.” -- 1 Timothy 4:7

Navy SEAL training is known as one of the toughest in all of the world. The training is physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging.  SEALS that make it through the training will tell you as physical and emotional as it is, the intensity of  their preparation is the key to finishing. A key motto for Navy SEALS is “when under pressure, you don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training.” As officials, the concept is the same.  In last week’s devotion, an often stated motto used by officials was mentioned--“start perfect, and get better.”  Each game, we start perfect. The question is, do we sink or how far do we sink during the game when we face difficult calls or questioning from the coaches?  As officials, when our preparation is not as exceptional as it should be, we often see missed opportunities for a well-officiated game. When our preparation is focused and intense, we better  handle the challenges we face.  There’s an old saying that most athletes believe, and probably officials--“flip the switch” meaning we perform once the “lights turn on.”  In reality, individually and as a crew, we function to the degree of our preparation.  We should not wait until game time to “flip the switch.”

Two truths Jesus provided to prepare for life challenges:

1. “You will face many trials and sorrows...” (John 16:33a): Put away false belief of prosperity. No person avoids trouble very long. Officials face peaks and valleys before, during, and after games.  In times when setbacks and issues occur, we sink to the level of our training. Although we hope we can handle any situation that we face on and off the field, the better our preparation, the more likely a positive result--the less we sink.

2.  “...but take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16: 33b):  Jesus states he has overcome the world (mocking by enemies, betrayal by followers) and offers to prepare us for whatever trials we face. These words are to encourage and embolden us. In that same context, the better trained and prepared we are to officiate, the more confident we can be to navigate the difficult game-time situations we face.

Individually and as crews, how we prepare looks different.  However, the one area preparation should be similar for all officials is INTENSITY.  Are we just going through the motions each week in our preparation or are we laser-focused on what we need to do individually and as a crew?

Am I preparing or pretending?

“Lord, train me. Use the everyday, normal circumstances to prepare me for trials. Remind me of Your presence today. Amen.”

Credit:  www.fcaresources.com

BE ON GUARD

Recently, Chick-Fil-A President and COO Tim Tassopoulos spoke to his employee base on the importance of recognizing and expressing the struggles that weigh on our hearts and minds.   Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

This verse is timely for 2020 with a pandemic, political tension, economic struggle, social injustice, and civil unrest.  Tim stated in his message “This is a time, more than ever, when you and I need to guard our hearts.”  Tim shared three risks everyone should look out for when facing trying times. I feel the same application can be made to officiating today.

Risk No. 1: Burnout;  Antidote: Restoration

As officials, the pressures and obstacles we face seem greater than ever before.  The fear is, especially during the season, pressure leads to exhaustion and burnout.  How do we avoid burnout? --prioritize restoration and rest.

• Consider how we spend our time during the week.  We have to continually review, study and prepare during the week.  However, do we also take time and moments away to recharge?  Taking time to unplug keeps our heart and minds healthy.
• Restoration and recharging include more than just physical rest. Consider other ways to recharge—exercising, spending time with family, going out to eat, enjoying a hobby, worshipping.

Risk No. 2: Perfectionism;  Antidote: Humility

Chick-fil-A customers have very high expectations because of the model of quality and service the company exemplifies in every customer transaction.  As officials, we often say we have to “start perfect and get better.”  The pressure we face to get EVERYTHING right is intense.  Coaches, administrators, players and fans expect officials to be right. In addition, we are our own worst critic.  Just this week a fellow official confided to me “I’ve been beating myself up all week about a call.”  We’ve all either said or felt that way.  So, how do we handle the pressure of always getting it right? --seek excellence instead of perfectionism and practice humility.  Tim explained “perfectionism is not looking at ourselves in a healthy way, but practicing humility helps us assess ourselves appropriately. Being humble means having the confidence to acknowledge you don’t have it all figured out.”  The key word in humility’s definition is “acknowledge.”  When we can acknowledge our mistake, learn from it, and apply what we learn going forward, humility is working and helping us achieve EXCELLENCE.

Risk No. 3: Isolation;  Antidote: Connection

Officials can feel isolated.  Because of the scrutiny placed on officials and public reprimands becoming commonplace, it is easy to isolate ourselves when games and/or plays don’t go right.  As an official, how do you avoid feeling like you are on an island by yourself?  --find connection with others. Tim said, “everyone needs connection because our hearts were created for relationships.”  Burnout and perfectionism can separate us from others. None of us can or should handle the expectations of officiating alone. How do we connect and with who?

• Connect with family and friends.  Sometimes we need people outside of officiating to talk with.
• Reach out to other officials you trust.  These officials are ones that don’t always tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear.
• Deepen your relationship with God. 

“Above all else guard your heart, for everything flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23